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 so, lately everything has been going good. family's getting along for the most part, joe's back in cali for a little while then goes to pencicola....so yeah, but im pretty used to him being gone. me and frost are good. the still supirises me everyday. we got together without thinking of a relationship and now we are like two peas in a pod. w/e aren't away from eachother for more that like and hour. lol. whatever she makes me happy and i make her happy thats all that counts right? so yeah im still not in school and thats great i dont have to go back till the 14 or something like that. i love my new school. i still feel bad for some of the shit i had to do earlier before, but hey i'll get over it. this year is flying by sooooo fast its like everyday we getg older the faster the year flys by. i cant wait till im out of this house and in college, working living onmy own. it will be so much fun...but yeah im bored of writting...ta-ta my loves.
so whats been going on lately.....still loving every minute i spend with frost...she is everything i could of asked for. she suprises me everyday with something new. i always loose myself in her eyes. i can just sit there for hours staring at her and know shes mine. i smile everytime i think about her. i feel like im falling for the first time all over agian. shes so perfect for me. i can do anything around her, i can talk to her about anything. we have a great time just laying in my bed all day watching movies holding on to eachother. i feel so wonderful and happy when i am with her. when i thought i was going to loose myself all over agian, she held me together. and shes still holding on. i dont think i have ever felt more connected with a person before. hell, the girl practically lives at my house...and the few nights a week i cant sleep next to her i dont sleep at all. i love her. i really do, and i wasnt even expecting it. i wasnt expecting us to go really anywhere. and now im going crazy cua i cant see her for four days. lol. i feel like a little kid with a huge crush, but then agian its way more than a crush. and i know she feels the same way i do. everytime either of us try to express the way we feel its like we were pulling messages out of eachothers heads. i geuss good things do just pop out of no where.

i get to see my brother soon!!!!!! i cant wait...im not going to let that boy out of my arms. i miss him so fucking much. and he gets off for x-mas and thats really soon hell its snowing right now. time needs to keep flying by until he is here then it can go as slow as it wants. i never noticed how much my brother ment to me until he was gone. but i know he is still here for me even if he is in cali. and i hope he knows im still here for him. i love you joe! your the best brother i could ask for. 

i get to talk to nick all the time. hes having a pretty easy time. but im proud of him. he looks so cute in his uniform. i still miss having him around the house. but im rather used to it now. 

and yeah  schools fine. im great. girlfriends great. get to see my brother soon. eat a lot of food tommarow. my mommys making me a pie. and im going up north with my dad this weekend. so i geuss you can say life is pretty nice right now.
I GET TO SEE NICK ON SATURDAY!!!!!!!! i can't wait i miss that boy so much. now to make my day really good i need to see joe. i should write him agian. but yeah i cant wait for saturday it needs to come faster. but yeah...that all i really wanted to say because its the only thing im looking forward too. ohhh i know, i love my new classes. i have an english comp. class and i basically have to write a paper a week. and then i have pycholgy, and this forensic science class where we learn about how to slove crimes and shit. i love um. i love my new school. i love frost. and yeah im happy. and i'm started to talk to stefan agian, im not sure how hes taking it. but yeah ta-ta.

ahh!!! i went to the regina spektor concert it was so much fun!
regina spektor is so adorable!!!

frost went with me and omg!!! she did some of the cutest stuff. like when regina walked out on stage she put me on her shloders so i could see. then when she could hold me up any longer she looked for a spot in the rave where i could see everything. i love this girl. yes i said love. yes i feel for another. thats not wrong of me. if only everyone could just see and hear what i do....why can some read minds. why cant we just all be happy for the happyness of others. im happy and no one can take that from me. 

but anyways evnough of that random rant. i miss people im home where are the calls. w.e im stopping by riverside today i hope people are outside. the cold doesnt stop me!!! and im tiny and dont retain heat. but then agian i will be bundled up. hehe. 

i love you.


everyone who smiles at i love you means that you was for you.  : )

 so everything is going rather well for me. i get mail from the boys rather often they write as soon as they can. that makes me happy. i'm coming to my first break of the year, yey three weeks off. i have no idea what i am goin to do...maybe sleep a lot. Me and frost are doing great....that girl is amazing!!! you dont even know how much i like this girl....it nice. ok enough of that. i feel a little bad for the way i treated stefan...i mean he ran off for three days and said he killed himself after the phone call and message we talked togther in. i didnt mean for that to happen but he wasnt getting the picture in his head. i had to be a little mean...i hope hes ok. but yeah...i have a lot of work to do tommarow...i have to finish a video...do 13 poems and finish a paper....arrghh! the end of the quater snuck up on me. oh well. yey for happy katy!!! chloe i miss you call me when you can hang out!
arghhh!!!! i miss them!!!! and i dont know who to talk to about it. i wish i could just call um whenever i want but no!!! 

it sucks, i still hear my brothers laugh in my house.....

and this weekend i thought he was here

i need a hug.
so katys single...me and stefan broke up. i feel like a bitch i had to be so blunt with him, but i had to do it. i finnally made a decision for me and not him. i feel less stressed out because i dont have to deal with all his shit. schools great. i met this really cool girl frost, we're proablly gonna go out but i told her to wait awhile, seeing how me and stefan did just break up. but yeah. nicks gone. its already a little less loud in my house. joe leaves tuesday. its really bringing me down. but hey what am i gonna do. so yeah. but other than my brother and nick....im doing pretty good. im really only writting this because i feel like writting. schools starting soon for everyone. i hope you guys have a good year. well im gonna go.
between stefan and my brother and nick leaving i dont know what to do...stefan got on the news for breaking into ummm....that one school. they caught him on camara and now no one knows where he is and stumpy got some wierd call last night that might of been from him. but he doesnt really know. i love stefan abd care about him alot....but i cant deal with all the drinking, stealing, running around destroying shit, and all the built up anger he has. hes changing into someone i dont know. someone i  can deal with and dont really like having around. that hurts...it hurts when he calls me drunk...and it hurts when he doesnt call me at all. but everyone is just giving up on him...and what if he really just needs someone there. i cant leave. i dont know what to do. leave or stay. this is driving me crazy.

Then to add on to that nick and joe are gone in a couple weeks. they are leaving its soooo fucking close and i cant stop thinking about it. i love them. i grew up with them. they have always just been around. and they just arnt going to be here anymore. my house will change, my familys going to shrink, the people still in my house are going to be sad ass hell. what am i supossed to do. how am i suposed to be ok with them just leaving. just hoping on a plane and then they are gone. who knows what they wil be like when they get back. who knows what i'll be like. 

I dont need to be in school right now. 

I need to know what going on with stefan.

I need to not fall back into my pit of depression.
this summer is going to be so sucky...it all ready is. my teacher fucking screwed me over and now i have to go to summer school. she could of told me we had an essay to write when i came to pick up my reviews. its not my fault i had to miss the last week of school. i had my wisdom teeth pulled. whatever its only in the morning for two hours. but i have to do it for 8 weeks. eight weeks of school for one missing essay. this bites. but yeah so if anyone doesnt have any plans in the morning they should hit me up so i have somewhere to go. i hope something good will happen to me soon. to make up for all this shit i have been getting.
yeah....i havent sleep all night. my brother had his graduation party i didnt sleep the whole night and im am still awake as hell. everyones passed out or just went to sleep but katys awake. this sucks i want sleep but i cant fall asleep and i want something to do but no one to do anything with. blah. i have nothing exciting to write. ok im done. byes.